I know I say all the time what a hoot it is to be part of the Riggins’ household. And at the foundation of it all is my handsome husband, Steve Riggins. Let’s face it; without him, we would have no “Riggins life”. He truly is the “behind the scenes” hilarity for most things happening at our house (and beyond). Today, I want to share a little bit of the joy that living with Steve brings to our family.
Steve has a quirky and fun sense of humor. It’s not the same as the Allmans’; it’s a weird all it’s own. One thing to note about Steve – he LOVES to pester. If he thinks he’s doing something that’s driving you crazy, it’s like throwing gasoline on fire. I quite often quote the verse to him from the Bible, “Provoke not thine children to anger…”. Yeah, he just laughs. The great thing about Steve is, as much as he dishes out, he can pretty much take anything we hand back to him. He’s able to laugh at himself no matter where we are or who we’re with which is one of the things I love so much about this man.
Steve has a way of saying things that are sometimes funny, sometimes random, sometimes embarrassing (it’s true, hon), all the time not even knowing it. Examples:
1 – We run into a young couple married only a few months (the young man went to high school with Wes) and they happened to be with the bride’s dad (who Steve went to high school with). Steve greets them with the normal pleasantries then starts in on the couple, “You guys still honeymooning? Hmmm? Come on….” *wink wink” The couple shifts and smiles uncomfortably, turning a bit red and Steve just stands there relishing it! I decided I must step in. “Steve…stop, okay babe? Sorry, he can say some really awkward things sometimes…” We all laugh about it with Steve laughing the hardest. How do we spell awkward? S-T-E-V-E.
2 – Recently, one of Steve’s sisters had to have a colonoscopy. Because of some possible findings, the doctor said to her, “You should call all of your brothers and sisters and tell them to have this procedure done, too. Tell them not to wait.” Steve called to report all of this to me and he said, “Can you call the doctor about this? Maybe we both should have it done. Is this something we could do together? You know, like a couple’s massage?” Wait, WHAT? I went from concern to “excuse me??” to rolling on the floor laughing in a matter of seconds. After he realized what he said, he was laughing, too.
These are just a couple of examples from THIS WEEK alone. I’ve been married to this man for 17 1/2 years. Oh yes…I do love it. And it keeps getting better every day. Here are a couple more funnies….
When we were at Disney World, we commented that we felt like we were in a foreign country because of all of the different languages being spoken around us. While at Hollywood Studios waiting in line to ride the Rockin’ Roller Coaster (amazing ride), we were surrounded by a large group of girls from Brazil. Steve looks at Caleb and confidently speaks this phrase of an “unknown tongue”. It sounded like nothing I’d ever heard before. Caleb said, “What does that mean?” Steve says, “It means, ‘Hey ladies, I am the man’. Say it, Caleb. Go ahead. They’ll be impressed.” In his finest redneck accent, Caleb attempts to say it. *crickets, crickets* He only received odd stares. Caleb looks at his dad and said, “Was that SPANISH?” Steve says, “No, it was Rigginish.” Caleb shakes his head and gives his dad the “I oughta…” look and Steve, Eli, and I fall over the rails laughing. COME ON, CALEB. You’ve lived with this man for 15 years…you should know by now...Lol.
Steve’s ways are truly unique, but not only to him. It seems the older our boys get, the more I see how these “ways” have been passed along to them. Caleb has apparently inherited the pesty side (with a vengeance) and Eli has a combination of both the Riggins’ and the Allman sense humor (scary). Sometimes what children pick up from their parents can come back to bite us. And sometimes the hardest thing to do is not laugh at them!
This past Tuesday night, both boys were in a bit of trouble for not being able to get along (shocker). We had had it with their mouthiness to each other and finally Steve decided it was time to lay the hammer down. He had both boys sit on the couch right beside each other and, as if that wasn’t punishment enough for them, with one eyebrow cocked, Steve says to them, “Now, hold hands.” Caleb and Eli vehemently refuse. Steve says, “Fine. You’re both grounded.” Hands instantly become locked.
Steve began his Barney Fife speech (“During our lifetime, we travel many roads...”) about brothers loving each other and how they should cherish each other, protect each other, etc. He looks at Eli and says, “Eli, look at Caleb and tell him something that’s really special and unique about him.” Eli rolls his eyes, hesitates, then realizes he’s not getting out of this. He looks at Caleb and speaks.
Eli – “You can fish.”
Steve – “No, Eli, I mean a trait that is special about Caleb.”
Eli – “You’re really patient while holding a long pole.” I am biting the insides of my jaws to keep from laughing…
Steve knows this may be the best he’s gonna get. “Well, okay…Caleb you do the same for Eli.”
Caleb – “You’re good at building Legos. And you’re a good brother.” Aww...
Steve thinks this is really going somewhere so he continues the exercise encouraging them to tell more attributes they find in each other. Right in the midst of this breakthrough, Eli looks at his dad and says, “Can we wrap this up?”
It. Was. Over. We all just fell out laughing. But hey, at least they weren’t fighting anymore. 🙂
Babe, you are the one responsible for starting “The Riggins Life”. And there’s nowhere I’d rather be than with you. I love you.